Even now as I look back on those two summers, now with older…perhaps slightly jaded eyes, I can still…even now…feel the thrill, the excitement that Bobby brought to me…to my life.
Bobby became my life. I loved him without measure.
Were we having sex? Maybe…I don’t know for sure…I was so incredibly innocent back then. We all were. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but something was and I liked it and wasn’t saying no.
His boyish, irresistible charm reassured me every dark night or sunny afternoon when we were alone together, that all would be fine. He made it all so easy. But then…everything was easy with Bobby.
“Don’t worry, Sammy. It’s okay, it’ll be fine. I love you. You know I love you, don’t you?”
And he would look at me with those intense brown eyes that always held a little laughter in them…and then…and then…of course, I knew he did.
But there were other times when Bobby’s words of love were flippant and breezy.
And then, that lost, lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach would return.
I would wonder why did he want me? What was so special about me…Samantha Jones.
There were many other girls in high school that he could have chosen…prettier than me by far…more sophisticated and certainly less innocent.
Sometimes I would wonder if I was just a little toy for Bobby…a toy to play with for a while…a toy he would keep until someone else came along.