True Story…really…

Had to tell someone…

My 78 year old husband and I live in a good sized apartment…open living room, dining room and kitchen concept.

I had been putting away groceries and he was watching TV (duh).

But then I walked into my bedroom to do…whatever…not important… and I hear his voice calling, “Tina?”

I walked out into the living room and said, “Did you want something?”

He said:

“Oh.  I knew you were putting away groceries but then it got real quiet.”

Me:  “So…”

Him:  “I wanted to know if you were dead…so I wouldn’t trip over you.”

God’s truth.

 

THE KIDNAPPING OF WESLEY

“Did I just say “kidnapping?”

By

Tina Nelson

When you are hopelessly in love, you will do anything.

You have no control.

You are ruled by your ever demanding heart.

You ignore the rights and listen to the wrongs.

You BEG your friends at recess to help you.

Did I just say “recess”?

You show off your most attractive physical feature (in my case…my legs) by not wearing corduroy pants under your pink dress when it is terribly cold outside even though your mother told you that you’d better wear them…or else.

Did I just say “corduroy”?

You brag about a lifestyle that doesn’t exist…except for the “pancakes” part.

“Did I just say “pancakes”?

And when all that fails…you lie.

“So, Jimmy…and you too, Wesley…my mother has said I can bring two friends home for lunch today and I have picked you guys because I know you are the best of friends…and I want to be your best friend too!”

Seeing the doubt in their eyes, you recklessly continue…

“My mother makes the best pancakes in the world!!”

And so on that Spring day in 1950 at noon, me, Jimmy (dearest love of my life) and his best friend, Wesley walked, ran and skipped the seven blocks from Cherryhill Elementary School…where we were all first graders…to my house where my mother was waiting for me to come home for lunch.

She had a tuna fish sandwich with soft Wonder white bread (it was 1950, after all) an apple cut in slices and a glass of whole milk (to build strong bones) waiting for me…just like she did every day since that was my very favorite.

There was no pancake batter sitting on the counter waiting to be added to a sizzling, hot skillet.

There was only one plate on the table…not three.

Suddenly, Jimmy stopped skipping and burst out, “I can’t go to your house!  If I don’t come home for lunch, my ma will kill me!!!!!!”

And then, Jimmy, the love of  my life, turned and ran like the wind down the street towards his house.

“I’m still coming!” said Wesley to me.  “I love pancakes!”

So Wesley and I slowly trudged the one more block to my house.  Okay.  Okay.  Only I trudged.

We dragged ourselves up the back stairs of the duplex where I lived.  Okay.  Okay.  Only I dragged.”

“MOM!!!” I shouted as I banged open the back-screen door.

“I brought my friend Wesley home for lunch…can we have pancakes?  I sort of promised.”

Did I just say “sort of”?

I walked further into the kitchen and sat down at my place at the table.

Wesley stood shyly by the door…not knowing where he should sit…a scared smile starting to appear on his little black face.

“Did I just say “black”?

My mother came out from the living room where she had been “hoovering” while she waited for me to come home for lunch.

Did I just say “hoovering”?

“Oh, hi mom.  This is Wesley.  I invited him and Jimmy Preston (the love of my life, although I didn’t say that, then) home for lunch.”

“I told them we could have your fantastic pancakes.  Jimmy changed his mind and went home.  But Wesley didn’t.”

“Hello…um…Judy’s mom.”  Said Wesley who didn’t know my last name or unfortunately…as it turned out later…his own phone number.

“Hello, Wesley! said my mother, giving Wesley one of her big, friendly smiles.  My mom was always happy and friendly.  Everyone loved my mom…and her pancakes.

She walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair for Wesley.

“You can sit here, dear.” she said.  And as Wesley walked over to sit in the chair, she moved over to the kitchen counter, reached up to take down her big “pancake” bowl, grabbed it and then paused…as she looked at the two of us sitting at the kitchen table.

“Your mother knows you’re here, doesn’t she, Wesley?” asked my mother.

“No, ma’am” said Wesley politely.  Then he slowly tilted his head to the side…perhaps wondering for the first time if his choice to have pancakes this day was not a good one.

Here is the part where my mother swears a lot, drops the pancake bowl and somehow keeps smiling…

Here is also the part where Wesley’s unknown phone number complicates things…

“I think there is an eight and a six…” offered Wesley hopefully.

And further… no one at Cherryhill is available to answer the frantic calls made by my mother…since they were very busy looking for the missing Wesley.

Soon there were a lot of policemen and police cars…but no sirens.

“Did I just say policemen”?

I saw Wesley’s mother.  She looked like she had been crying but my mom was hugging her so I guess everything was all right.  No one was hugging Wesley or me.

The front-page headline of the paper the next day said:

“6-Year-Old Boy Kidnapped By Best Friend.”

The smaller headline had a quote from Wesley.

“I just wanted some pancakes!”

Jimmy Preston (the love of my life) moved at the end of first grade and I never saw him again.

P.S.  We never got any pancakes.

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just the facts…Post #2 of “I just ate less…”

  • I am 5’3″ tall and as previously stated…I am 75.
  • I have never been overweight until now.
  • I have mostly weighed around 110-115 pounds…less in my teens and early twenties.
  • I have never dieted.
  • I have one child.
  • I am Caucasian and of Swedish descent.
  • I am in good health for being 75…whatever that means…
  • I am not Type 2 diabetic.  (Although it appears that most of the world is…)
  • WEIGHT LAST OCT. 2018:  147.8 (And yes…I had a big belly…sigh…)
  • CURRENT WEIGHT:  134.2 as of June 7, 2019
  • NOTE:  LOSS OF 13.6 POUNDS…YAY, ME!!!!  ALSO THERE IS BELLY SHRINKAGE.
  • GOAL:  To weigh 125 pounds by November 1, 2019
  • PROCESS:  Lose 1/2 pound per week or 2 pounds per month.  (Did not seem like a big deal, right?  HAH!!!  I was so wrong.)

In the very beginning, I couldn’t lose any weight at all…WE ARE TALKING ZERO POUNDS.

I even skipped meals.  Not a good idea…ever…okay…once in while we all do it.

I spent over a month trying to figure out what I was doing wrong because it was painfully obvious I was doing absolutely nothing right…when I gained 2 pounds!

And, of course, having a metabolism of dry paint (which is what you have when you reach age 75) doesn’t help.

Plus…when I was skipping breakfast and lunch in a wild attempt to lose SOMETHING…ANYTHING…my body thought I was stranded on a desert (not dessert) island and in danger of starving to death…so it decided to store my fat.  Thanks a lot, body.

I tried counting calories.   I used the “Lose It” app.  It was fine and good but I really did have better things to do with my dwindling years.

Plus…everyone knows 10 barbecued chicken wings have more calories than one stalk of celery…UNLESS you dip the celery in lard.

I clearly had no idea what I was doing…but I wasn’t giving up.  There had to be a way…and there was…BUT it wasn’t easy.

It was just plain simple.

P.S.  I’ve looked at other weight-loss blogs and they have very pretty pictures and really great recipes.  I apologize in advance (in case you hadn’t already noticed)…there are no pics and no recipes.  (But I did put this notice in green…so there’s that.)

“I just ate less…”

**DISCLAIMER** 

This whole series of posts (and I believe there are only six) are generally for older women (over 60) who want to lose less than 50 pounds.  I imagine it would apply to all women…but if you are younger, you can try it also.  It will just work quicker…

This is NOT a guide to eating healthy or a guide to “healthful eating/living”.

This is simply how I have lost almost 14 pounds in 6 months (beginning last October) and am still on track to lose 11 more pounds by November.

So, if you need to lose 100 pounds or if you are looking for emotional guidance as you lose weight or if you believe you can actually lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks…STOP READING!!

**END OF DISCLAIMER**

For everyone else…

One day last month (May) I was chatting with my 46-year-old daughter.  I am 75 going on…

I mentioned to her that I had lost 13.5 pounds since last October.

She actually stopped what she was doing…she was eating a piece of her excellent homemade cinnamon roll…and looked at me.

I was really surprised because she normally doesn’t pay much attention to anything I say…you know how busy these young people are…

“How did you do that?” she asked me…in a TRULY interested voice.

And…she really wanted to know…

“Well,” I answered slowly, “I just ate less…”

“And I tried to walk a little every day.”

“Huh.”   She said thoughtfully…and I was so encouraged by this outburst of interest and excitement that I thought that maybe I should share my weight-loss process with others.

My goal here is to tell you what happened to me and I don’t see why it can’t happen to you.

My blog is mainly for publishing my short stories…not for giving out weight-loss advice…but this is really good stuff…so I hope it works for you (it will)…and you can also search around and read some of my short stories if you wish.

So, as my delightful 11-year-old granddaughter said recently before giving a very impressive speech to a large group of people, “Let’s just dive right in and get started.”

 

What I discovered…Post #3 of “I just ate less…”

 BULLETIN:  Weight today #133.6..”Woo-hoo”!!!

  • The metabolic rate is much slower when you pass 55 or 60…even slower in your 70’s.
  • After menopause, God is basically done with you and you will gain 5 pounds just by looking at a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting.  No.  Don’t argue with me.  It’s true.
  • If you smoke (like I did) the pounds will appear after you quit, but it’s still worth quitting.
  • Retirement means less structured work.  You have more time now for socializing…more opportunities for eating out…perhaps even having extra glasses of wine…or chocolate malts.
  • Living the good, retired life; sleeping late and lovely naps in the afternoon…all can equal weight gain…but so slowly…you hardy notice…until you do!
  • If you should move from a house to an apartment…there is generally less work to do.  And that means less routine burning of calories just by maintaining a certain “house-owning” lifestyle…like gardening, mowing, snow, leaf and twig removal…you know the drill if you have ever owned a house.
  • Question:  Do you really want to pay money to stop eating the foods you love and eat special food that tastes like crap?  Really?
  • Question:  Do you really want to help the U.S.  $68.2  (update)…$70.3  (NEW update…) $72 BILLION  weight-loss market increase their net worth?  Really?
  • Question:  Do you really want to take some probably unsafe/useless, non-FDA approved drug so you can lose 50 pounds in one week? (I’m exaggerating a little here..)  Really?
  • Do you really want to exercise a LOT and even sweat?  Do you really want to lift weights…and…you know…sweat?  Do you really want to pull on those resistance bands until one day you accidentally let go of one end and it snaps your eye out?  Really?
  • Do you want to pay good money (is there bad money??) to a fitness center to have some weight-loss/fitness expert who is probably 12…just kidding…give you a look…when you tell her you gained a pound or eaten half of a doughnut  that morning?  Really?

Yup…I totally agree and am impressed with everything I just said…SO, HERE IS WHAT I DID.

To find out, send $25.00 in unmarked bills to...

HAH!!!! GOTCHA!!!  I’m just kidding….

The Eating Part…Post #4 of “I just ate less…” comes tomorrow!!!!!

 

The eating part…Post #4 of “I just ate less…”

A note before I begin:  I’ve been poking around “weight-loss” and “dieting” blogs and I found out that a lot of people suggest that “just eating less” won’t do it…you have to do a lot of other stuff to lose weight…plus you are going to be hungry and not feel satisfied.  Here is what I say:  Do you want to lose weight or not?  Okay, I’m done.

  • I love to cook, so I wasn’t going to stop cooking my fantastic food and buy crap  “diet food”.  So…I just put a little less of everything on my plate…every single night…except when I made pizza…or we had pizza delivered.  For every rule there should be one exception and this is the one I’m making.  I think this equals god mental health…I think.  I also think I really love pizza.
  • I love sugar with my coffee…so I just put a little less in my cup.
  • When my beloved furry friend, LuLu the Cat, died in 2015…I started to have a whole Hershey bar…every night after dinner for dessert.  I stopped doing that.
  • I have 1/2 to 1 whole can of 3.2 beer with my dinner every night.  (NOT Lite.)
  • I stopped making popcorn with butter every night.  Now I have it once a week. At first it was really hard but then I discovered popsicles!  I have 2 (halves) after dinner every night.
  • I really look at my plate when I am putting food on it.  I mean…really look at it.  I now know exactly when I should stop ladling the gravy over my mashed potatoes…about 2 ladles does it.
  • If we are eating a food that has pieces…like French toast for example…skinny husband will get 10 little squares…and I will get 6…plus butter, of course and maple syrup.
  • I still bake cookies and cakes and buy all sorts of delicious baked goods because my husband weighs 122 pounds…yes, that is exactly right…
  • Occasionally, if I want…I will take a bite out of whatever I am giving him…and then get a popsicle out of the freezer.
  • Christmas was hard this past year.  But instead of eating 3 or 4 warm cookies right out of the oven…I had a half of a cookie.  I had lost almost 3 pounds by then and I didn’t want to screw up…I knew I was on to something.
  • I kept thinking of that children’s book, “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”  I felt like, “If You Give Tina Half Of A Cookie…she’ll be happy!”  And I was.
  • I still go to Dairy Queen once a week and get a small chocolate sundae.
  • I try to get to White Castle once a week where I order 2 sliders and a small REGULAR Coke…or McDonalds for a Filet-O-Fish sandwich and a small REGULAR Coke.
  • That Coke is the only pop/soda I drink all week.
  • I have never drank diet pop/soda…I tasted it once…
  • I cook with butter.  I cook with whole milk.  I love meat…red, lovely meat.  AND I LOVE GRAVY…as previously mentioned.  I like chicken too…in case you wondered…with barbecue sauce or gravy, of course.
  • I never eat anything labeled “lite” “diet” “fat-free” or my favorite…”tastes awful but it only has 3 calories”…kidding on the last one.
  • I love potatoes in any form.
  • I seldom eat breakfast.  I just have coffee with sugar, no cream
  • But…I almost always have a good lunch.  Sandwiches made with ONE slice of white bread…tuna, chicken, ham, egg salad or peanut butter. I always use Mayo.  I love Mayo…full strength…not lite.  There is always cheese on my lunch plate because I love cheese.  Grapes and strawberries are also there.  And then I add 3 crackers.  My current favorites are Breton Originals…and Better Cheddars.
  • If I do feel like breakfast, I will have a small can of tomato juice or an egg fried in butter.
  • We do not eat out a lot but when we do…I just leave food on my plate if the portion is too large.
  • IMPORTANT!  Do not go to bed hungry!  Every night I read before I go to sleep so I have 3 or 4 crackers and 5 potato chips…and 3 LUDEN’S  cough drops.
  • Odd little observation:  Before I began this bedtime snack ritual, I used to have a little acid reflux.  It was really bothersome.  But now I never have it…go figure.
  • I NEVER deny myself anything because with this plan…I don’t have to.  Except excess…I deny myself excess…that’s fair to say.
  • I eat everything and anything…I just eat less.

So…that’s the “eating” part of my weight-loss process.

I know it is pretty simple but it really worked and obviously is still working since I just lost more weight yesterday!

P.S.  I am never hungry (except before dinner and, really, who isn’t) and I am so very satisfied…

The “Walk A Little Every Day” part  comes tomorrow.

The walking a little bit part…Post #5 of “I just ate less…”

It really is amazing how quickly you can amass over 5,000 steps in a single day…which is my goal…not always achieved…but nevertheless…my goal.

  • As I have said, I am 75 and recently bought one of those walkers with all the bells and whistles.  I use this when I go walking distances or if I am going to walk for more than 30 minutes or if I am going to walk to the grocery store.  
  • I especially like the seat feature in that I can always find shade in the summer and warm sun in the winter.  The little basket is a great place to put small purchases and toss in water, a sandwich your cell, etc.
  • I always walk down to the lobby to get the mail and packages.
  • I sometimes just walk down to the lobby…for no reason…not even the reason that “it is good for me”.  Hmmm…I think there’s a story there…
  • When I shop at a large grocery store, I always take a cart even if I am not buying a lot of items because I feel more comfortable…and then I can also walk down a couple of extra aisles…browsing as I go.
  • I always park a small distance away from the store entrance when I am out shopping.  Those few extra steps really make a difference.
  • I am not trying to impress anyone with my walking…distance matters nothing to me other than the simple calculation of how far I have walked on a particular day.  I never talk about my walking…or ‘not walking’ for that matter.
  • We live on the ground floor and I always walk up the stairs from our parking spot in the underground garage after I have been out.
  • If I have a couple of light bags, I will carry them up with me.  Skinny husband will bring up the heavier bags with a grocery cart and use the elevator.
  • I take naps 2 or 3 times a week.  I have lunch in bed, read my  book and then sleep for an hour or so.  Pure pleasure.
  • I never do Yoga nor will I.  Too old…no matter what they say…75 is 75.  Walking is the best.  I did Tai Chi for a year a long time ago…but that was enough.
  • I got a Fitbit for my husband but I use it mostly and I average about 5,000 steps a day.  I have done 11,000 on some days and I have also done 700.  It’s no big deal.  It’s like a watch that does a little bit more…there for my convenience to see what’s up.
  • I DO NO FORMAL EXERCISING!  Don’t even ask if I swim…
  • But I am very active and I can feel it if I have sat too long…maybe pouring over the morning newspaper…and it feels crummy.  That old adage, “Use it or lose it” really does apply to us oldies…and to everyone…actually.

Nike says, “Just do it.”  I say…”Just move it…”  It’s the best thing anyone can do at any age.