Gaining one pound a year doesn’t sound like a big deal until 25 years go by…my amusing and precarious journey of weight loss.

“a grand and glorious good morning to all!”

Today…actually this morning…which is about 10:30 a.m. where I live…I am just finishing up my soon-to-be-everyday breakfast!  

Yup…you heard right.  I am no longer starving myself into a semi-unconscious zone until lunch time…or longer…if the fates allowed.  Very bad…I know…but I wasn’t actually hungry so…oh forget all that…it’s not the new me.

THIS IS THE NEW ME!!!!!:  2 green grapes, 1/2 banana, 1 slice white bread, 1 1/2 Tablespoons butter (unsalted), 1/2 ounce smoky (I love anything smoky.) cheddar cheese, 3 Tablespoons of sugar with my coffee and one chocolate chip cookie (homemade).

And THEN…I am going down to the swimming pool and swim 25 laps…

HAH!!!…That’s never happening:)   I even hate to take showers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I think at some point in my life I may have come close to “dying by water”…or as some people say…drowning…but that implies a lack of parental control which would cast aspersions on my beloved now dead mother and that simply would not be the case.

I was a strangely yet lovingly micro-managed child.

Have a nice day…

“What did you do?”

Remember when you were a kid and you went to the front door to pay the pizza delivery guy and then there was this horrible crash that sounded like a plane had hit the house but was instead the pizza delivery guy’s car barreling into our closed  garage door  because he had forgotten to secure the parking brake on his car correctly…yet you mother comes running out of the kitchen and shouts at you…

“WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Or…when you were fifteen and you somehow got a date with the drop-dead, good-looking captain of the football team who (erroneously) was led to believe that you would be “a lot of fun” on the first date…and then when he never called you again because you were not…your best friend asked you…

“WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Or…when the 200-year-old water heater sprung a leak and your husband (who is a complete idiot anyway) came up the stairs, looked at you cooking yet again another  fabulous dinner because he NEVER likes to eat out…told you about it and then said…

“WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Andfinally…when you watched the Super Bowl and your beloved team and  quarterback were getting crushed from almost the very first snap…instead of pushing excessive amounts of comfort food into your mouth (which is what you wanted to do) you just pulled up a cozy, fleece blanket and went to sleep for about a half hour…only to discover upon waking… that things had gotten infinitely worse instead of better…but being a true fan you sat and watched it to the bitter end…ever hopeful for the miracle…that never came.

So…you just got up and walked forlornly out into the kitchen and fixed dinner and did NOT EAT extra food or more than one piece of white cake with chocolate/fudge frosting that you had made “special for the game” yesterday…

Yet…when I weighed myself this next morning… the scale showed #140!!!

And…of course… the very first thought that came into my little pea-sized brain was…

“WHAT DID YOU DO?????”

Nothing.  I did nothing wrong.  Sometimes life just sucks.

(At least I didn’t bet $125 on the over…)

Have a nice day…

SUPER BOWL, BABY…

HOWEVER…MORE IMPORTANTLY…

I have weighed #139 for 6 days in a row!!!!!!!

AND…here’s how I accomplished this milestone of leaving #140 behind…

To be honest…I’m not sure.

EXCEPT…I have been putting “less” food on my plate. Not a lot less…just a little less.   I kid you not!!!

Seriously.  That’s it!  No denial of chocolate bars.  No reduction of barbecue potato chips (my latest addiction).  No marathon running…BOOM!!!!  The sound you just  heard was me falling off my chair laughing hysterically….hey, I can barely spell marathon…

So…just like the title of this blog…”I (basically) just ate less…”   I guess it pays to listen to myself…once in a while.

AND NOW I BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP…

Because…the Super Bow is in 3 days and I LOVE Patrick Mahomes and I LOVE Andy Reid and…don’t even get me started on Travis Kelce… I LOVE…oh it doesn’t matter.  I fucking love the whole team and I want them to win so badly…

(I also want to trade our quarterback  Kirk Cousins to Houston so we can get Deshaun Watson and then Houston can trade Kirk Cousins to New England for Cam Newton…Cam would love Houston… )

Hey…this is my world…however nuts it may seem to you…PLUS I NOW WEIGH #139!!

HOWEVER…we all know what happened the last time I ate my way thru a crucial football game…I gained like 2 pounds!!!  NOT this time…no way…

…however…don’t bet the house on me…

Have a nice day…