It’s a powerful story about heartbreaking love, a sad, ugly war and a grievance not forgotten.

Johnny and I were both atypical National Honor Society members who…along with twenty-four other ‘more normal’ kids went to Chicago one month before graduation for our 3 day, 2 night senior trip.

We basically just hung out together…just the two of us…because the other kids avoided us…we were like “the bad boys of NHS.”

We tried to get the room assignments changed so we could share a room…but no one was on board with that.

We were just friends, after all, so we didn’t see a problem…our advisor, however, didn’t agree.

Both of us smoked like chimneys so there were many very ‘intimate’ moments in the train’s tiny bathroom…sharing cigarettes…

There was also very little sleep that weekend…and sometimes it was nice to put my weary head on Johnny’s chest.

And…even nicer when he would put his arm around me and say, “Little, tired Tinka,” and kiss the top of my head.

One day, we ditched the other kids and went to the Lincoln Park Zoo instead of the ‘scheduled’ trip to the Art Institute of Chicago.  It was a  beautiful day and we wanted to be outside.

We ate hot dogs and ice cream and smoked two packs of cigarettes.

We tried to get this young guy with really long hair to buy us some beer at a liquor store we had scoped out…but that didn’t fly.

We thought we were so daring…

We thought we were so much cooler than the other kids.  We really weren’t.

The other kids thought we were just plain nuts.  We probably were.

Then one month later we were throwing our mortar boards into the air at the graduation ceremony.

“Let’s keep in touch this summer, Riley.” Johnny said and kissed my forehead…I was dating some jock at the time…who was hovering nearby.

“Call me anytime, Johnny and we’ll do something.” I said and I reached up to kiss his cheek.  He was dating some blonde bombshell from Richfield…also hovering.

“Done.” He said.

But…summer flew by…and even though we talked many times on the phone we never got together.

 

 

Johnny took his full ride scholarship to the private and very expensive Macalester College in St. Paul, Minnesota.

He had moved into an older one-bedroom apartment on Goodrich Avenue.  He said he liked it because of the big windows that over looked the tree-lined street.

Johnny’s parents were bankrolling his apartment rent.

Plus they were giving him a monthly allowance as a reward for “studying so hard” in high school the he had earned a scholarship.

“They should be paying me!” I had half-heartedly complained to Johnny when he had told me about his windfall one day while talking on the phone this summer.

Johnny had paused…

“Yes…that may be true…but, Riley, I am a GENIUS….you know.”

He always jokingly bragged about his I.Q.  It was like 152 or 160 or something nutso high like that.

“Yes…” I replied slowly. “But…I read somewhere…there’s a fine line between being a genius and being crazy…you know…JOHN!”  He hated it when I called him John and I laughed and hung up the phone.

I was going to go to the University of Minnesota and living at home with mom and dad to save money.

I was waiting to hear if I had secured the highly sought after “weekend popcorn girl” job at the Campus Theater.  I needed the extra money.  My student loan hadn’t kicked in yet.

The pay was really good and you could study during the movie…and eat as much popcorn as you wanted…and butter.

Johnny and I had tried to talk every day during the summer and then when school began…it was harder.

College life was different.  So much time…and yet…so little time.

We didn’t actually see each other for almost five months.

But then…one night at a ridiculously drunken party…in a ridiculously crowded tiny apartment in Dinky Town near the University of Minnesota campus…

“Johnny!  What are you doing here?  Are you slumming?”  I said…and put my arms out for a hug.

“Tinka…give me a kiss.”  And I did.

Both Johnny and I got blind drunk and were not dating anyone else…so…

It seemed appropriate…and about time.

It was a ratty little apartment but it had one bedroom with a door that locked…and we locked it.

 

 

When I look back now…I think I truly fell in love with Johnny Taylor at that 8th grade Halloween Party…and never really fell out…

He agreed…but then…he always agreed with me.

Within a week, I had moved into Johnny’s apartment.

It was like we had been together forever.  Everything fell so easily into place.  There was a bus line that went right down Snelling Avenue to the East River Road and into the U of M campus…no one wanted to drive a car to the U. if there was some other way.

I got a job as a waitress at Pierre’s Pizza, just a short one-block walk from our apartment and my student loan had kicked in so I could quite my other job as…

Yes, I had gotten the weekend popcorn girl job!  Even after only a couple of weeks I knew I was going to miss that butter  I mean…popcorn.

Johnny, who had been close to failing ALL of his classes, cleared his mind, stopped partying and began to study…and not just to please me…but to please himself…to please us.

When we weren’t being in love, making love, working or studying, we spent every minute doing whatever we could to protest the Vietnam War.  We marched.  We made signs.  We went to meetings and protest rallies.  We wrote letters.

But still…more and more young men were coming home in body bags…shown in full color on CBS news.

Every night there was  footage…showing young men…somewhere in Nam…either bleeding from wounds or shooting at the enemy.   It was horrible to watch.  But I felt I owed it to every soldier to do so.

One night…as we were drifting off to sleep…Johnny, holding me close to him as he did every night, softly whispered.

“I don’t think I could ever kill anybody, Riley.”  And then…even softer…

“I don’t want to…”

 

Around the middle of June, Johnny got his Order to Report for Induction.  He had been drafted.

“What about your student deferment, Johnny?   What about that?” I cried.

Johnny sat at our kitchen table, shaking his head.

“You know, before you moved in, I remember taking this test…it was some kind of draft test…I don’t know…I didn’t pay that much attention.”

“I had been out the night before…didn’t get much sleep before taking it…I was a little hung-over…”

He looked up at me sheepishly.

“I should have had you there, Tinka, slipping me notes…”

I frantically paced around the small kitchen as Johnny sat holding the letter in his hands…looking at it in total disbelief.

“I never really thought it would happen.” He said quietly.

“I think I have about two weeks before I have to report.”  He looked again at the letter and let it fall to the floor.

I picked it up and tore it in half.  Then I tore it in half again.

“NO!!!!  You’re not going!!!  I won’t let you go!” I shouted.

“There must be something we can do!  We’ve got to do something!  Wait!!!  Why can’t we get married, Johnny?  They don’t take married men, right?” I said.

That deferment ended last August Riley.  Apparently, Johnson needs the wisdom of the married man.” He said sarcastically.

“Canada….we’ll move to Canada.  Lots of boys are doing it, Johnny.  We can do…”

Before I could finish, Johnny was holding up his hand and shaking his head…

“My dad would disown me, Riley…and forbid my mom and Alec from visiting me. ”

I knew how close Johnny and his mom were and Johnny loved his little brother so much.  Alec was just two years younger than Johnny…and he idolized him.

“You know how my dad feels about “duty and service to country”.  He said glumly.  Both Johnny’s dad and grandfather had served in the Army…and both during war time.

“If I went to Canada, I wouldn’t see my mom or Alec ever again, Riley.”

“Well if you die in some fucking rice field in Nam…you won’t see them ever again either…will you!!!!” I screamed at him.