“I just ate less…among other things…”

“How crazy is this???”

‘BTW…I’ve done worse…but that’s a tale for another time…’

Last night…about midnight…I was just about to turn off the harsh and mostly unforgiving bathroom light and head off to dreamland…when…

…I sleepily glanced in the ‘HUGE‘ bathroom mirror and noticed that my hair looked really awful…kinda straight and stringy…no snap…

Now…to be fair…the morning had been ‘hectic’…and I didn’t really get a chance to…you know…”style” my ‘bob length” hair.

However…I had run a comb thru it in the morning and…during the day  I had probably ‘fluffed’ it every time I looked in any mirror (which was often)…but I had not officially put a curling iron or flat iron to an actual hair strand.

So…about 12:11 a.m….I got out my curing iron…and plugged it in.

Then I did a slow stroll out to the living room to look out the patio door window into the dark courtyard to see if there was anyone lurking out there…(there never is…but I continue to look nonetheless)…and then I returned to the bathroom…

…where I proceeded to completely curl and carelessly style my hair.

…SO… that I would look good (or hopefully less horrible) when I got up in the morning.

And…full disclosure…at 6:03 a.m. this morning…I looked pretty damn good!!

Have a nice day…

 

“I just ate less…among other things…”

WELL…

when husband has a TIA (mini stroke)…

…and you hardly eat for the first day and then eat very little the second day…and you do not lose ONE SINGLE POUND!!!!…it could seem unfair…

HOWEVER:) :)…in light of the fact that I jumped on his symptoms RIGHT AWAY…and called an ambulance RIGHT AWAY…and he was diagnosed RIGHT AWAY…and he suffered absolutely ZERO brain damage…

I’M ABSOLUTELY OKAY WITH THAT…

Have a nice day…

 

“I just ate less…among other things…”

“I’m still here…”

You know…I saw this damn virus thing coming around the second week of January…

There was this ever so tiny, two inch article…buried deep on page 5 or 6…in my local newspaper that caught my eye…something along the lines of … and I’m PARAPHRASING here…

MYSTERIOUS VIRUS IN CHINA WILL JUST ABOUT KILL ALL OF US!!!!!

And then I remembered noted University of Minnesota doctor of diseases…Michael Osterholm saying on PBS about a dozen years ago that “SOME HUGE PANDEMIC IS COMING AND DON’T THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I AM WRONG BECAUSE I AM NOT!!!!”

I also remember looking over at my husband and saying…”Wow…who is this dope?”

So I was wrong…shoot me.

Anyway…back to ‘I saw this damn virus thing coming’...

There was something in those few words that led me to Google…Wuhan, China.   (God I love Google…so beats the “Guide to Periodical Literature” for fact finding)…

And there I saw an interesting map with red, not so red, and pink circles, showing how many cases of ‘this new virus’ there were today…and…MORE IMPORTANTLY…how many there were.. yesterday…OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN…I Googled…:)…Japan…(Don’t know why..) and saw empty shelves on which toilet paper used to be sitting…and that scared the crap (no pun intended) out of me.

So…long story short…I started buying some “extra” toilet paper and enough food to last…for enough time.

BUT…I have not been able to “BE WHO I AM” and so…I have not lost any more  weight…AND IN FACT…have gained A POUND!!!!!!!!!!

But…here’s the deal.  You know how when you go to prison for doing some really horrible stuff?

And then they’re going to “gas you or electrocute you or inject you (not with disinfectant…I might add…lol) with poison? …you know…to kill you?

Well, they ALSO  let you have your favorite meal the night before…right?

RIGHT???  You bet they do…

Have a nice day…

“I just ate less…among other things…”

“He doesn’t want to see Jim…

until June 1…” 

and I said…

“WHAT THE FUCK!!!”

Okay, okay…relax.  I didn’t say that…exactly.  What I said to the very sweet nurse was…

“How about June 2 at 3:30?  Will that work?”… (see how polite and normal I can be?)

..and…of course it did work…BECAUSE THAT’S A VERY, VERY LONG TIME FROM NOW…..and I was the first person she called.

So, I’m thinking, if my husband’s kidney specialist…as in BIG TIME DOCTOR... doesn’t want to see patients until June 1…then that means HE’S  ‘social distancing’…for more than a month from now…right?  Am I right?  Yep…thought so also.

Jimminy Cricket Christ…I’m not sure I can hold out that long…before I GO COMPLETELY CRAZY… Please note I said “completely” crazy…I know who I am…

I WANT A BIG MAC!!!!  I WANT A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE!!!!  TWO!! I WANT DOMINOS PIZZA…A LOT!!!! I WANT TAKE OUT FROM PERKINS, PANERA, BROADWAY PIZZA!!!!  I WANT TO VISIT THE WHITE CASTLE!!!  I WANT IT ALL!!!!

OH!…but you say…you can do that right now!!!!

“THEY”  say it’s perfectly safe to eat food that absolutely complete strangers (but I’m sure wonderful people) cook/prepare and bag/box for you.  It’ll be just fine.  Don’t worry!”…(If you feel you must…you can wipe off the bag/box  with a Chlorox disinfectant wipe…)

Yeah??   Remember when… “THEY” also said we didn’t need to wear masks…cough, cough…

Have a nice day…

 

 

 

“I just ate less…among other things…”

The world may be falling apart…

but…

The VERY FIRST news story I chose to read this morning was…”Tom Brady is not going to quarterback the New England Patriots any longer…”

WHERE ARE MY PRIORITIES???????

THIS is what happens when you get so giddy after losing some weight…after not losing some weight for so long…as in…NOW I WEIGH…drum roll please…………

130.1

Have a nice day…

 

 

“I just ate less…among other things…”

THIS IS SAM.

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I named him today, after…

…he tapped three times on the patio door that I…apparently…was not looking through at the time…

or he would not have felt the need to tap…three times…

…to remind me that it was 9:30 a.m. and it was time for ME to put out some bread/rolls for HIM…

…WHICH I NORMALLY DO…BUT I WAS SO HALF-ASLEEP…EVEN THOUGH I WAS AWAKE AND DRINKING COFFEE (FIRST CUP, HOWEVER)…AND DID NOT NOTICE HIM SITTING POLITELY…OKAY…BEGGING POLITELY FOR HIS LITTLE TREAT….BUT  NO EXCUSES ARE ACCEPTABLE…

Meet my new friend, Sam.

Have a nice day…

 

 

 

“I just ate less…among other things…”

I Have Already Eaten 2 Cookies…

…and I have only been up for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!…

 

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Okay.  The first cookie was just to see if they were still soft and as wonderful as they were yesterday…and the day before…kind of like a ‘scientific experiment’.  Right?

THEY WERE!!!!  Okay, let me log that in my scientific journal…not.

The second cookie was…was…I have NO DAMN reason for eating the second cookie.

I have less than 10 months to lose 5 pounds and I am sliding down a slippery slope so fast I am dizzy.

I am completely out of control…using ‘old age’ as an excuse for ‘seizing the day’ (and by that I mean eating more cookies).  OMG  What’s next?????

Well, let me tell you…

NFL FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIX PLUS HOURS OF SITTING…PERHAPS SWEARING…PERHAPS GROANING…PERHAPS CHECKING TO SEE…

IF MY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES ARE STILL SOFT???…

I AM SO SCREWED…

Have a nice day…