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“WHEN…”

When the ambulance drivers start to look familiar…

When the paramedics say…”Wasn’t I just here a couple of weeks ago…?”

When you find a corner of a doctor/clinic waiting room and have no problem with setting a physical boundary so no one else can sit next to you…

When some people who do not understand what “tele-health” means but you do and have to explain it to them…and by them…I mean nurses and doctors…

When you have to park on the wrong side of the drive-way leading to the hospital drop-off/pick-up area because some idiot has blocked the access by obliviously  taking up too much room…

When you ponder leaving the Christmas decorations up until next year since most of  this year’s holiday season has been spent looking at them alone…although happily doing so temporarily…

When you step on the scale and realize that even though you weren’t trying…you managed to lose 3 pounds…

It becomes apparent that you are not…nor have you ever been…in charge.

Have a nice day…

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WELL…

Long Story Short…

Of all the things important in this crappy, Covid-19 world…my journey of weight loss is (and should be) at the very bottom and I know that.

I really do.

But…so that I do not cry every second of every day at the almost overwhelming horror of it all…I know I will feel a little better if I weigh 139# on June 1…because it is something that I can ACTUALLY CONTROL if I choose to…or not.

Today’s weight………………….140#.  (I HAVE LOST ONE POUND!!!!)

Have a nice day…hopefully one in which you do not cry…but if you do…that’s okay too.

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“WHY???”

I just don’t get it.  And…it is really starting to tick me off…BIG TIME.

I eat “a little less”.  I walk…when I can…

But still…this morning I weighed 141#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don’t get it and that is bothering me more than anything.  I am one of “those people” who cannot abide “not knowing the answer”.    Sorry.  It is who I am.  I love Google more than…well almost anything…

Like if someone came up to me tomorrow morning as I am walking in our nearby park and grabbed my phone out of my hand (because of course I am holding it…and looking at it for some idiotic but absolutely necessary reason) and then said to me…

“Hello, Tina.  I am going to throw your phone into that lake over there.”

And then…I would scream, “But WHY???????????? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?  I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU!!”

And then…he would say, “See?  That’s the problem.  My name is Jacob Zacharias.  Back in the third grade, you gave everybody Valentine’s Day cards and you didn’t give me one.”

And then…I would pause, think and then say, “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…right, right, right.  I remember now.  I ran out of cards…I was going by the alphabetical list the teacher gave us and…well…your last name does start with the letter Z.”

And then…I would say.  “I am really very sorry, Jacob. Are you still going to throw my phone in the lake?”

And then…he would say.  “Of course.”

BUT AT LEAST I WOULD KNOW WHY!!!!!!

Where was I going with this whole damn thing anyway?  Oh, yeah.  The “whys” of life.

I am NOT eating more.  I am NOT walking less (well a little less…maybe…but still.) I am not just sitting around watching grass grow.

LAST YEAR…I weighed 130#!!!!!  IKR??????

And…even though I am older…I am more tired than I should be…

It has to be Covid!!!  I don’t have it…but just the presence of this horrific monster spreading all over this world is so desperately defeating…

If I were a doctor/scientist of any kind, I would really look into this…I think I’m on to something…

I think…

Have a nice day…