“The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.” *

WHICH MEANS…OR SO I HAVE READ…

Justice may be slow but it will come EVENTUALLY…

Here’s the deal…I am still at #140…still…STILL!!!!

Just casually wondering here…how long is EVENTUALLY?

Because I am only eating 1/2 of a Hershey bar now and have given up the BBQ potato chips entirely…

So.  There should be some justice for all my sacrifice, right?  I just knew you’d agree.

Have a nice day…

* Sextus Empiricus (3rd century Greek guy)  Hey!!  I don’t make this stuff up.

140.0…and

four days until Christmas goal of 139.0…

Yesterday…in the spirit of Christmas and baking and the Scandinavian  genes that run amok throughout my body…I baked three different kinds  of cookies.

Why would anyone desperately (and I do mean desperately) trying to lose weight…bake cookies?  Am I completely mad?

Perhaps…or perhaps I am just a mother/grandmother who finds it hard to say NO to requests of this nature…

The cookies were nothing special…just the favorites of my eldest granddaughter, my youngest granddaughter and my only daughter.

And…because I feel it is the responsibility, as matriarch of this tiny family unit,  to make sure that what I give them to eat will not…you know…make them sick or kill them…I had to… “taste test”.

Now…as any good or even mediocre cook knows…the “taste test”…is probably the most important step in the cooking process…AND…the most fun.

So yesterday…I thru caution to the wind (as I so often do) and taste tested to oblivion!!

I THOUGHT this morning’s scale encounter would show a weight gain…it surprisingly did NOT

Has there been some sort of “shapeshifting occurrence” of which I am not aware?

I am very fearful for what today might bring.

Have a nice day…

“Defining Moments…in MY life…

One Very Cold Winter Day…

It was December 28, 1958. The day dawned dark, dreary and supremely cold.  Did the sun even come up?  Oh, I guess so…it always does.  But in my world it was a a perfect day for watching football…I was just getting hooked on this incredible sport. 

(Did I just say hooked?  Oh.  My.)

Christmas?  A memory.  New Year’s Eve?  A  maybe plan.  A football game?    Why not…pop that corn and curl up.

The New York Giants, America’s Cinderella team, was playing the Baltimore Colts…the NFL championship game to be later crowned as  “The Greatest Game Ever Played”.  

The Baltimore Colts, artistically guided by the diminutive, Weeb Ewbank  and led by the  incomparable quarterback, Johnyy Unitas, who threw pass after pass to brilliant wide receiver, Ray Berry…secured a massive upset victory with only mere minutes left in the game… and in the process… led me down an Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole to years of football addiction….

I have stories…oh…I have stories…

BUT…today the story is simply this:

Eating not one but two Hershey’s candy bars and two popsicles and half of a donut in one afternoon (before a dinner of nachos) and then follow that the next afternoon… with pizza. hamburgers, homemade fries and  just a sliver of Neopolitan ice cream plus, of course, customary Hershey’s and popsicle and you have…drumroll please…

141.4 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no excuse.  Well…”I don’t know how he missed that field goal…AGAIN!!!”

Today…I weigh 140 pounds and am just hoping for the best…and to achieve my Christmas goal of 139:)

Have a nice day…

 

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

WAY TO GO…YAY, ME!!!

140.0 !!!!!

Okay.  Ten minutes have passed…which (in my humble opinion) is quite long enough to celebrate this current weight loss victory.

MY NEW WEIGHT GOAL:  BY DECEMBER 25, 2020…drum roll please…is…

139.0

Now…I know there are “people out there” who may think that losing one pound in approximately 25 days is a ridiculous goal…but…

I would beg to disagree.

For all the countless people in this world…achieving a goal of any kind is awesome…

But if you are a person (like me) who struggles with weight loss or weight gain…you know, agree and understand the impact of losing just one pound…

…and more importantly…keeping that one pound “gone”.

The irony of this most recent move from 140.6 to 140.0…is that I can’t figure out how I did it…

Oh.  Wait…  🙂

“I just ate less…among other things…”

Have a nice day…

 

“WOO HOO!!!!”

140.06 pounds…two days in a row!!!

I wanted to tell everyone this fantastic news yesterday…but then I thought…some really deep thoughts…

“What if this is just some quirk in the universe?  A miss-alignment of the planets?  A black hole…whatever…?”

I personally blame the ‘black hole phenomenon’ for everything…good and bad…because…well…why not?”

So yesterday I decided to just stop eating…just to make sure the weight would stay off…

HAH!!  Just kidding.  I actually ate normally…and may I suggest the “thin” little chocolate cookies with the white stuff in the middle”?  Okay I will.  Just one.  Dipped into coffee…so it doesn’t break a crown?  So yummy!

However…back to the beginning…two nights ago I was SO DAMN TIRED!  

Even though I have gotten just a “slightly bit older” (I have such a way with words, don’t I?) I don’t always know when to stop doing things and just take a little nap…

So…two nights ago I got into bed and because I was so EXHAUSTED, I skipped the small bowl of potato chips I now have (instead of the wheat crackers I used to have).

Will you quit yelling at me and let me finish? 

Chips can be very good for you…mentally…and…and emotionally! I’m pretty sure about that…

And…WAIT!!!!  I almost forgot!!  This little bedtime snack actually stopped my acid reflux!!!

SO…ANYWAY…I read one page and my eyes started to close.  My head started to droop.

And before I could even put one chip into my mouth, I shut off the light and went to sleep.

Weight in the morning was 140.6!

I danced around  for about 10 seconds… make that 3… (you read the ‘slightly bit older’ part didn’t you?) and then wondered why my weight has gone down. 

Being the unrecognized genius that I am…I then remembered that…

I had skipped the chips!  

So…last night I did the same thing and this morning I ran…I am so funny…I dragged myself slowly to the kitchen, eyes still almost shut and weighed myself…

140.06 pounds!!!!!!

Don’t you just love science?

Have a nice day…

 

 

“Okay… Here’s the deal…”

I am not dead!!  Woo Hoo!!!  Super!!!

That being said…what I have been doing is… writing/publishing my latest short story…“One guy…One girl…One motorcycle or…” which…

…is appearing…somewhere in this blog…

Do not even ask where…because I don’t know how to tell you how to just push a button and get there…because…because…I just don’t know…)

I (personally) think it’s just a miracle I managed to mentally, emotionally and spiritually figure out how to use the new BLOCK  EDITOR! *

*(Okay, I am not really using it…I just push that little ‘classic’ square and go from there…DO NOT TELL ANYONE!!!)

And now before I begin my next story…which is Christmas (holiday) themed/cookie related…I am making a checklist of all the boring  stuff I have to do before I can start writing again…and  one of the items on my list is: LOSE  10 pounds…5 pounds…1 more fucking pound…

If you recall (or care) I was stuck at 140 pounds FOREVER…AND…I had been and am still refusing to give up my daily chocolate bar…and a couple of potato chips…(Oh…stop shaking your head…)

BUT in spite of all my horrible addictions, I somehow magically have lost one pound and now weigh… 139 pounds.!  Yay Me!!

AND…this is not just some… “One day I forgot to eat!!!”  deal...which I have done and really should never.. ever do again…but that’s another tale for another day…

So…without my “not-eating all day diet”…I am consistently weighing in at 139 pounds.

NOW…the next thing on my ‘TO DO’ list is:

Oh…I even hate to put it in print because then it becomes SO FINAL.  Okay.  Here goes…

I HAVE TO CLEAN MY HOUSE…  There.  I said it.  Everyone happy now???  

Have a nice day…

…I am in BIG trouble…140#!!!

Holy Moly!!!  I heard you gasp from all the way over there…wherever ‘there’ is…

I was doing so well…

I was almost to the 129# mark on a regular basis…125# by November was happening…

AND THEN… COVID-19  hit.

Oh, don’t get me wrong here…I was a full and compliant participant.

No one was forcing chocolate bars and potato chips down my throat while I was strapped to a chair and bravely refusing to share “very secret secrets” with them. …

(BY THE WAY…potato chips are my NEW addiction.  Go big or go home, right?  Wrong…)

“But weren’t you walking on a regular basis?  I seem to recall you saying…” 

NO!!!! I STOPPED DOING THAT!  

It was… just…TOO HOT AND TOO HUMID!!!!! And…because…”insert whatever fucking  excuse you can think of.”

Basically…I just closed my eyes and flipped off the reality switch in my brain.  Sometimes reality is so…REAL.

So.

Now I have to go back to whatever sections in my little “I just ate less,,,” treatise that apply to me and start ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!   YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Incidentally.  A small factoid.   This is NOT an excuse for my total lack of self-control…but still…all roads lead to Rome…right?

I have dreams ALL the time that I have Covid-19.  It is the damnedest thing…and not surprising… very unsettling….

Have a nice day…

137.0#

There are no excuses…only a new plan…

A million years ago…on a 92 degree summer day…I shoveled 5 yards of black dirt.  The dew point was in the upper 60’s.

 

It was a hot one, my friends…

I  worked all day…smoked way too many cigarettes…but I got the job done…

Just like I will get the job done now…

NEW GOAL…….132.0 by August 10, 2020…..

Have a nice day…

P.S.  I know you’re wondering…I will do this without giving up my chocolate bar…hey…it was bad enough I had to give up cigarettes 14 years ago…give me a break…

So…….

Could someone please tell me…*

How I can spend over an hour of my precious time writing, editing, writing, changing, writing…….and more…..to get one perfect sentence…

And then have absolutely NO willpower when it comes to blithely (as in having not a care in the world) getting up and walking four steps to the cookie jar and grabbing two (NOT ONE…but TWO)  chocolate chip cookies and then eating them in like less than 3 minutes?

*Don’t really tell me…I don’t want to know…ignorance can be bliss.   The cookies were homemade…by me:)

Have a nice day…

ASTONISHING

COVID-19 BENEFIT…perhaps…

Here’s the deal.  Today I was taking my daily walk…okay…my almost daily walk.

I had just purchased some really cool looking face masks…HELLO!!!  COVID-19 (in case you were wondering)…..

So I decided on the black and white checked one.    I also had to put on my large black (super cool Ray-Ban) sun glasses because it was……….sunny!!

Since I was starting my walk in an area with no people I just had the mask pulled down below my chin…covering the…you know… “jowls” area.

For those youngsters who may not know (yet) what  jowls are…well good for you!!!..  But please allow me to enlighten you.

They are an area beneath your chin that you will almost assuredly get as you age and will also most assuredly not like hate.

But guess what?  No one could see them!!!   HAH!  (Important only to those who might care about that.)  (I do..on occasion.)

THEN…a couple of people came strolling down the lane towards me…not wearing masks.  Just so you know, I consider people who do not wear masks to be terribly unaware.

So…anyway… I flipped mine up and continued walking.  I wasn’t sure if I knew them…it is a relatively small apartment complex where I live so…I might have.

However, when I walk I keep my head down when people are approaching…I’m not into the stop & chat bit..so we passed each other and no one said anything.

After they passed…it suddenly occurred to me that most of my face had been  covered…I was basically unrecognizable.  I could have been anyone…and…any age!!!

So where is all this taking me?  I can now appear to look as young as I feel with no plastic surgery!!!

So there.  Take that corona virus.  I win.

Have a nice day…

P.S.  Still rocking 134.4 and NO, I AMNOT GIVING UP THAT DAMN CHOCOLATE BAR!!! !!!!!!!!!:)

I AM A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAILURE…

And I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault…

134.4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s the deal.  How is it humanly possible for me to gain weight by just eating only one lousy candy bar…one…that unfortunately I am totally addicted to…every night after dinner?

I really don’t want to eat one every night after dinner!!!!

I love that damn candy bar…what is it…213 calories?

OH STOP!!!!!!!  I HEAR YOU…….

Getting back to “it’s not my fault”…I think that I should do an experiment. 

I believe if I got up and only drank black coffee and water ALL day long for a month…I would still gain weight…if I only ate “my precious”* candy bar for dinner.  I totally believe that!!  

I KNOW I would also probably die…so I won’t be doing that…in case you were wondering…

There are a lot of other things “I totally believe”…but those are tales for another time.

*Did you catch the ‘Lord of the Rings’ reference?  heh heh heh…

Have a nice day…

 

 

“IS MY NIGHTLY CHOCOLATE BAR…

A GATEWAY DRUG TO…TO…

I don’t know….I have no idea what the future holds for me….

I have been thinking about hot, buttered and lightly salted (regular not sea) popcorn lately…

There was a time in my past when I had no control and started to have one regular size  Hershey bar AND a bowl of hot, buttered and lightly salted (regular not sea) popcorn EVERY SINGLE NIGHT…but my beloved cat Lulu had just died…

I didn’t plan on her dying…I planned on her getting well from “something” that was causing a brief lull in her eating habits…she was not eating nearly enough…and chubby, little Lulu LOVED to eat more than anything.

So I was bringing her to the University of Minnesota Veterinarian School for testing at the highest level…

…unfortunately they found after hours of waiting and testing that she had a tumor the size of a softball on her lung that was pressing on her little throat and “we could put a feeding tube down her throat and she would last a couple more weeks…if that’s an option for you…”  They said…

I said.   “I love you Lulu.  You are my best friend and sometimes I think you are my only friend and because I love you so very much I will not be bringing you home with me today…but I will remember…as per our discussion on the way over here …to take the Hoyt Avenue shortcut on the way home.”

That night (and every night for almost a year) I had a  large bowl of hot, buttered lightly salted  (regular not sea) popcorn and a Hershey bar.  I gained almost 20 pounds…which is what Lulu weighed when she died…

Life is crummy right now and can be unbearably sad and fraught with anxiety…but then…I remember my little black cat named Lulu who was…very probably…my best friend…who loved to eat until one day when she couldn’t…

Have a nice day…

“I’m still here…”

You know…I saw this damn virus thing coming around the second week of January…

There was this ever so tiny, two inch article…buried deep on page 5 or 6…in my local newspaper that caught my eye…something along the lines of … and I’m PARAPHRASING here…

MYSTERIOUS VIRUS IN CHINA WILL JUST ABOUT KILL ALL OF US!!!!!

And then I remembered noted University of Minnesota doctor of diseases…Michael Osterholm saying on PBS about a dozen years ago that “SOME HUGE PANDEMIC IS COMING AND DON’T THINK FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I AM WRONG BECAUSE I AM NOT!!!!”

I also remember looking over at my husband and saying…”Wow…who is this dope?”

So I was wrong…shoot me.

Anyway…back to ‘I saw this damn virus thing coming’...

There was something in those few words that led me to Google…Wuhan, China.   (God I love Google…so beats the “Guide to Periodical Literature” for fact finding)…

And there I saw an interesting map with red, not so red, and pink circles, showing how many cases of ‘this new virus’ there were today…and…MORE IMPORTANTLY…how many there were.. yesterday…OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN…I Googled…:)…Japan…(Don’t know why..) and saw empty shelves on which toilet paper used to be sitting…and that scared the crap (no pun intended) out of me.

So…long story short…I started buying some “extra” toilet paper and enough food to last…for enough time.

BUT…I have not been able to “BE WHO I AM” and so…I have not lost any more  weight…AND IN FACT…have gained A POUND!!!!!!!!!!

But…here’s the deal.  You know how when you go to prison for doing some really horrible stuff?

And then they’re going to “gas you or electrocute you or inject you (not with disinfectant…I might add…lol) with poison? …you know…to kill you?

Well, they ALSO  let you have your favorite meal the night before…right?

RIGHT???  You bet they do…

Have a nice day…

***BULLETIN***

  FULL DISCLOSURE…no real bulletin…

STILL 132.2...

However…I feel that in these wretchedly crap times…I must confess to anybody or everybody…that if I wake up one morning in the future….walk out to my kitchen…pull out the scale and weigh myself …which I do RELIGIOUSLY EVERY DAY…

…and discover that I have cracked the 130.0 mark on my scale…I will do one of two things:

ONE…

I will step off the scale, quietly walk over and open the curtains, pour myself  a cup of coffee, step back on the scale and weigh myself again because I will absolutely not believe that the scale  is telling me the truth…OR

TWO…

Ever so carefully put the scale back in the corner and THEN do a silent although wildly effusive HAPPY DANCE all the way down the hall to my bedroom where I will retrieve and subsequently eat one whole Hershey bar for breakfast.

Gee…I wonder what I will do…

Have a nice day…

Well…that was perhaps…

THE dumbest idea I have ever had!

 133.2!!!!!!!!!!

And trust me…I have had some righteously, colossal dumb ideas.

WAIT!  HOLD ON!  It appears that the dumb idea was so dumb it never made it into this blog.  Well.  I will correct that…tout suite.

PRESENTING TINA’S REALLY DUMB IDEA

Okay.  Here’s the deal  Now…because of the virus…when I order groceries online (as I now have to do because of the virus) … I can’t always get what I want…or NEED!

But…if you are one of those SUPER ‘addictive’ type people as am I…you have to figure out what you can buy to replace something you are SUPER addicted to in case that particular item is UNAVAILABLE!!!!!!!

Okay, Tina…settle down, settle down…

So.  My current addiction is Popsicles.  I have 2 or e after dinner (they…by the way…replaced my PREVIOUS addition of 2 or 3 cigarettes.)  I used to smoke them afteer dinner but no longer do because of a stroke…but that’s a story for another day…

So.  I spent literally hours trying to decide on a replacement addiction for my Popsicles in case they would not be available due to the virus.  I came up with a regular Hershey bar…pretty close in all the numbers I consider important.

SO.  I BOUGHT 60 BARS!!!

I figured I could have 1/2 bar every night after dinner and I would not be eating anymore calories than the 2 or 3 popsicles that I would normally have.

So…didn’t that sound like a great plan?  I thought so as well and I had to implement that plan last week when there were NO popsicles to be found at my store.

But guess what?  I am losing weight…only a couple of ounces so far…BUT STILL…OMG.  I could really be on to something here…which is why I am drinking a coke and eating potato chips as I write this.

Really…I am.

MUCH, MUCH LATER…

What the holy hell was I thinking?  Who can eat only one-half of a Hershey’s candy bar?  Who?

Was I completely out of my mind?  YES!  YES I WAS...!!!  I WAS 100% out of my mind.

To think that I could do that and then…wait for it…and then…when I was able to actually secure one box of my beloved popsicles…but have only ONE…because I AM A POPSICLE ADDICT and wanted to make that box of 36 last forever…

…decide to also have one half of a Hershey’s candy bar as well…because…because…I have no sound answer to that question.  Next question?

“Did you also have a piece of hot apple pie that you had baked solely for the enjoyment of your husband?

I do not believe I am going to answer that question either.

Have a nice day…

 

 

I will be so mad if I die before I lose 5 MORE pounds…

St. Peter will not be pleased to see me…

Well, perhaps that is a little strong but SERIOUSLY…I realize that last November 2019 when I had failed to reach 125 lbs….which was my original goal from November 2018… losing 5 more pounds before November 2020 seemed like a  genuine, doable goal.

AND…don’t get me wrong…it is!!!!  I mean…losing 5 pounds in 12 months…pretty easy  stuff.

However, if you happen to reside in the +70 age range, the doability of that goal is a bit sketchy…in that I could “kick the bucket” (so to speak) at any moment.  I feel fine…thanks for asking.

(COMPUTER…DO NOT SPELL CHECK ME …DOABILITY IS A WORD…I DOUBLE  CHECKED…even though not used in most dictionaries…but still).

Every morning I get up and the numbers on the scale vary only an ounce or two up or down…but there doesn’t seem to be a downward trend.

Just a simple request…one tiny, little favor…

…and please understand that I am still very, very grateful that I know what time it is...ALL THE TIME…like now it is 10:09  p.m. CST.

Have a nice day…

132.2 and holding…

I could swear the scale flirted with 130.8 this morning…

So I ran up and down the halls for 10 minutes to see if I could get the number down…yeah…right.  THAT’S never going to happen…:)

Have a nice day…

W.   T.   F.   ???

133.6 POUNDS!!!!

Shocking trip to the scale this morning…and I couldn’t figure it out…

…until I realized that for the past 2 days I have been shopping for a new computer…

And…that’s it, folks.  That’s all she wrote…

Stress…it affects every single thing we do…right?  Right!

So,,,now I’m going to go out and run 2 miles…HAH!!!  In my dreams…

Have a nice day…

A note before I begin: 

 I’ve been poking around “weight-loss” and “dieting” blogs and I found out that a lot of people suggest that “just eating less” won’t do it…you have to do a lot of other stuff to lose weight…plus you are going to be hungry and not feel satisfied.  Here is what I say:  Do you want to lose weight or not?  Okay, I’m done.

  • I love to cook, so I wasn’t going to stop cooking my fantastic food and buy crap  “diet food”.  So…I just put a little less of everything on my plate…every single night…except when I made pizza…or we had pizza delivered.  For every rule there should be one exception and this is the one I’m making.  I think this equals god mental health…I think.  I also think I really love pizza.
  • I love sugar with my coffee…so I just put a little less in my cup.
  • When my beloved furry friend, LuLu the Cat, died in 2015…I started to have a whole Hershey bar…every night after dinner for dessert.  I stopped doing that.
  • I have 1/2 to 1 whole can of 3.2 beer with my dinner every night.  (NOT Lite.)
  • I stopped making popcorn with butter every night.  Now I have it once a week. At first it was really hard but then I discovered popsicles!  I have 2 (halves) after dinner every night.
  • I really look at my plate when I am putting food on it.  I mean…really look at it.  I now know exactly when I should stop ladling the gravy over my mashed potatoes…about 2 ladles does it.
  • If we are eating a food that has pieces…like French toast for example…skinny husband will get 10 little squares…and I will get 6…plus butter, of course and maple syrup.
  • I still bake cookies and cakes and buy all sorts of delicious baked goods because my husband weighs 122 pounds…yes, that is exactly right…
  • Occasionally, if I want…I will take a bite out of whatever I am giving him…and then get a popsicle out of the freezer.
  • Christmas was hard this past year.  But instead of eating 3 or 4 warm cookies right out of the oven…I had a half of a cookie.  I had lost almost 3 pounds by then and I didn’t want to screw up…I knew I was on to something.
  • I kept thinking of that children’s book, “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”  I felt like, “If You Give Tina Half Of A Cookie…she’ll be happy!”  And I was.
  • I still go to Dairy Queen once a week and get a small chocolate sundae.
  • I try to get to White Castle once a week where I order 2 sliders and a small REGULAR Coke…or McDonalds for a Filet-O-Fish sandwich and a small REGULAR Coke.
  • That Coke is the only pop/soda I drink all week.
  • I have never drank diet pop/soda…I tasted it once…
  • I cook with butter.  I cook with whole milk.  I love meat…red, lovely meat.  AND I LOVE GRAVY…as previously mentioned.  I like chicken too…in case you wondered…with barbecue sauce or gravy, of course.
  • I never eat anything labeled “lite” “diet” “fat-free” or my favorite…”tastes awful but it only has 3 calories”…kidding on the last one.
  • I love potatoes in any form.
  • I seldom eat breakfast.  I just have coffee with sugar, no cream
  • But…I almost always have a good lunch.  Sandwiches made with ONE slice of white bread…tuna, chicken, ham, egg salad or peanut butter. I always use Mayo.  I love Mayo…full strength…not lite.  There is always cheese on my lunch plate because I love cheese.  Grapes and strawberries are also there.  And then I add 3 crackers.  My current favorites are Breton Originals…and Better Cheddars.
  • If I do feel like breakfast, I will have a small can of tomato juice or an egg fried in butter.
  • We do not eat out a lot but when we do…I just leave food on my plate if the portion is too large.
  • IMPORTANT!  Do not go to bed hungry!  Every night I read before I go to sleep so I have 3 or 4 crackers and 5 potato chips…and 3 LUDEN’S  cough drops.
  • Odd little observation:  Before I began this bedtime snack ritual, I used to have a little acid reflux.  It was really bothersome.  But now I never have it…go figure.
  • I NEVER deny myself anything because with this plan…I don’t have to.  Except excess…I deny myself excess…that’s fair to say.
  • I eat everything and anything…I just eat less.

So…that’s the “eating” part of my weight-loss process.

I know it is pretty simple but it really worked and obviously is still working since I just lost more weight yesterday!

P.S.  I am never hungry (except before dinner and, really, who isn’t) and I am so very satisfied…

The “Walk A Little Every Day” part  comes tomorrow.