Giving Up???

“Define ‘giving up’…” 🙂

I had a period of time last week when I contemplated ending my personal pursuit of weighing less.

I mean…I am (and have been for many weeks) currently at 138.8#…having recovered from a temporary surge to 139.4# experienced a couple of weeks ago.  I still haven’t figured that one out…

So last week I wondered if perhaps my original end game goal of 125# was unattainable…or even desirable anymore.  

And so I sad to myself… “Well, Tina.  If you stop trying to reach that goal then you can start eating whatever you want and walking  as much or as little as you want and stop all this nonsense.”

AND THEN I SAID TO MYSELF…  “Well, Tina…that is exactly how you are living your life right now.”  Hmmmmm…

And that stopped me cold.  BECAUSE… it occurred to me that I don’t WANT to eat more.  I don’t WANT to walk less.

I figure I have reached a spectrum of weight range (I made that up…) whereby (so I could use that word 🙂 ) I will maintain my weight just by living as I do right now.

See what I mean?  I know there are people who would kill to weight 138#. 

I myself thought when I weighed 149# that reaching 138# was a fantastic goal and when I initially reached it I was joyous.  But it wasn’t my end game goal.  So?

So…for me…(I tried to type elderly woman here and failed…)…someone who is above the age of 70 (I like that phrase much better)…I have to say I am done.

Because I can’t eat any less nor can I walk any more.  I believe I have reached a plateau that will not change…and I am okay with that.

And tonight I will have half a donut for dessert…not because I have to share it with my  husband BUT because I don’t want to eat a whole donut.

And that is the story.  I have…over the past couple of years…changed how I look at food…which actually was my original concept from the beginning…

I will always have a small Dairy Queen chocolate sundae once a week (when I can get there) and 3 White Castle hamburgers and a small regular Coke once a week (when I can get there) and I will never walk 2 miles a day.  

This is who I am now.  And more importantly.  THIS IS WHO I WANT TO BE!!

Have a nice day…