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The Paperback Edition…

Here’s a Snapchat cartoon of my brain at work…let’s make it animated…perhaps 3D…if that is possible…telling me what to do.  I, of course, am the main character.

I am to follow my guardian angel down my apartment hallway to my bedroom where I will get into my bed with my now ‘not so normal’ cat, Emma,.

I am to fall asleep and said guardian angel…now named Fred…will watch over me until I wake up tomorrow morning…

AND…he will continue to watch over me for the rest of my entire life.

AND…I will see him in action…or inaction…and no one else will.

AND…if I tell anyone, they will either lock me up…or send me somewhere with…you know…padded walls and there will be lots of very friendly people there smiling at me .

AND…FRED WILL BE THERE WITH ME!!!  WATCHING.  OVER.  ME…….FOR FUCKING EVER!!!!

OMG!!!!  I will never ever sleep again…

And yet…and yet…I suddenly feel strangely peaceful and calm as I climb into bed and  begin my normal “go to sleep” ritual.

First lying on my right side and then turning over to my left side where I fall asleep instantly…as I have done for 24 years.

“Tobey!!!  Wake up!!!  The fire alarm is going to go off in a couple of minutes.  You have to leave now.”

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Happy Valentine’s Day…

…to ME!!!

And before you start thinking…”Oh that’s pretty pathetic…selfish…nutso…let me explain.

Even though I am still at 132.2…RATS…and have not (yet) returned to the glory day of January 25, 2020 when I weighed in at 130.6…I AM ALSO NOT AT 141.4 which was my weight LAST February 14…

SO…now what do you think…pretty swell, huh?

I thought you might agree…and I hope you also agree that I deserve a treat…one full-size Hershey bar that has been living in my top drawer for months…waiting just for me.

Have a nice day…

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I’M JUST GOING TO DENY IT WAS ME…

You know…I found myself in a situation a few days ago that made me feel…sad, stupid and pathetic…

“OH NO!!!”

Yup.  And in the past, when things like this have happened, I have just ‘walked it around’ the block a few times and changed the scenario or ‘softened the experience’ or filed it away…and that has worked for me and probably for a million other people as well.

BUT NOW…I have decided to JUST DENY THAT IT WAS ME…

Yes, that is correct.  Because…”I” would not have chosen for that situation to have occurred.  I.  Would not have willingly put myself in a place where I knowingly would feel unhappy or upset.

I.  Am not stupid.  I.  Am not playing.

You can play…alone.

Have a nice day…

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130.6…

AND…I may add…for a solid week…

GOOD BEGINNING TO THE NEW YEAR…RIGHT?

IF…that is what I want to achieve for the upcoming year…

I DON’T…                                                   

I’ll get back to you…

Have a nice day…

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…BULLETIN…

…Because I KNOW that my weight is the the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life…right?

Right?????

Okay, maybe not.  I can see that.  I’ll be brief.  After one solid week of not weighing myself in honor of HALLOWEEN*, today I ran…well not really ran…at my age running is not  something I will ever do again.  So I more or less sauntered sleepily out to the scale area (kitchen) and…weighed myself.

TA DA!!!!!129.4…No CHANGE!!!!!

  • which in my world meant I could eat one tiny candy bar every other day for 7 days…which I did!!!  I also made sure I walked those days and had one less popsicle half after dinner…but hey…CHOCOLATE!!!!

Have a nice day…

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OKAY, OKAY, OKAY...

NOVEMBER 1 IS ALMOST HERE…

AND…I have not yet reached my goal weight of 125 pounds….which I set last October.  I HAVE lost 18 pounds, 4 ounces…which is great!!!!!…but still…

Let’s just round numbers off and say I currently weigh 129  and thus (:)) need to lose 4 more pounds to be successful…

Well.  I do not anticipate that happening…although miracles do happen.  HAH!!

So.  Here is my new plan.  Today is October 20, 2019 and my new goal (in life) is to lose 4 pounds by November 2020.

Good plan, huh?  I thought so too.

I don’t know what it is…sometimes these fantastic  ideas just come to me like a lightning bolt shot out of the sky.  Oh.  My.

Have a nice day…

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Still rocking 129.4…!!!

and I had a thought today…

Let’s just say I was walking down the street and someone (a man) would come up to me and say, “Hey, good looking…what’s your favorite season of the year?”

Okay…the whole “hey, good looking” thing probably wouldn’t happen…but the question of favorite season just might…so…I’ll continue…

“Hey, good looking…: (You didn’t think I was going to let that go, did you?)…tell me your favorite season.”

AND…I would say…

“Well, thank you for asking, kind sir.  As you are aware…I live in Minnesota.  It is September 15 and I was just told the weather forecast for tomorrow has a “heat alert watch” wrapped around it…I almost threw up.”

“I just watched my Vikings football team  lose to Green Bay today.   I don’t want to think about having heat stroke in the middle of September!”

“I want to think of crisp mornings, chilly nights and brisk walks…wearing the new clothes I have recently purchased because I have lost so much weight!!! AND…I don’t want to sweat anymore. ”

Answer to the question:  It isn’t summer.

Have a nice day…

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NO “bleeping” CHANGE…

STILL 130.4

I could have said NO fucking CHANGE…but I thought I would refrain from bold, blue  obscenities.

Here’s the deal:  IF I HAVE TO START JOGGING AT AGE 75…THE WORLD IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!  And I am not even kidding.

OK?  Just saying.  I am warning you world.  I don’t like the concept of jogging.  I have NEVER liked the concept of jogging.   I probably don’t even know HOW to jog…is it like running?  Only slower?  See…don’t know, care less.

Today is September 9, 2019 and my goal is to weigh 125 pounds by … what did I say????… end of October???  Okay.  It was November 1.  Grrrrrr…….

Tomorrow I walk A LITTLE MORE…That’s the best I can do…right now.

Have a nice day…

P.S.  I am basically a calm, happy person…

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STILL…130.4

I honestly feel like Dorian…spinning in place…IT HAS BEEN SO LONG!!!!!  And the stupid scale does not change one little bit…very depressing.

So….to lift my spirits…I decided to ‘again’ use the tried and true cure for simple depression that my mother taught me decades ago when she said…

“Let’s color your hair platinum, Tina!!”

And I did.

Have a nice day…      🙂

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****129.8**** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IKR…..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So…here’s the deal.  I cut my hair.

I figured “how hard could it be?”

I figured “just a little snip here…and…there…”

It’s the only explanation I can offer…since yesterday I took a hour and a half nap, did not walk because the dew point was…like 150…and I had an extra half popsicle because it was Monday.

Truth in Telling:  My avatar is slightly exaggerated…

Have a nice day…

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I TOLD YOU SO…132.8 pounds!!!!

Actually that was yesterday… (and today) but I bought a new laptop and they were transferring data…yada, yada, yada …So I was unable to connect with the world…BUT…there it is…on the downward trend again.

Have a nice day  week-end!

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A note before I begin: 

 I’ve been poking around “weight-loss” and “dieting” blogs and I found out that a lot of people suggest that “just eating less” won’t do it…you have to do a lot of other stuff to lose weight…plus you are going to be hungry and not feel satisfied.  Here is what I say:  Do you want to lose weight or not?  Okay, I’m done.

  • I love to cook, so I wasn’t going to stop cooking my fantastic food and buy crap  “diet food”.  So…I just put a little less of everything on my plate…every single night…except when I made pizza…or we had pizza delivered.  For every rule there should be one exception and this is the one I’m making.  I think this equals god mental health…I think.  I also think I really love pizza.
  • I love sugar with my coffee…so I just put a little less in my cup.
  • When my beloved furry friend, LuLu the Cat, died in 2015…I started to have a whole Hershey bar…every night after dinner for dessert.  I stopped doing that.
  • I have 1/2 to 1 whole can of 3.2 beer with my dinner every night.  (NOT Lite.)
  • I stopped making popcorn with butter every night.  Now I have it once a week. At first it was really hard but then I discovered popsicles!  I have 2 (halves) after dinner every night.
  • I really look at my plate when I am putting food on it.  I mean…really look at it.  I now know exactly when I should stop ladling the gravy over my mashed potatoes…about 2 ladles does it.
  • If we are eating a food that has pieces…like French toast for example…skinny husband will get 10 little squares…and I will get 6…plus butter, of course and maple syrup.
  • I still bake cookies and cakes and buy all sorts of delicious baked goods because my husband weighs 122 pounds…yes, that is exactly right…
  • Occasionally, if I want…I will take a bite out of whatever I am giving him…and then get a popsicle out of the freezer.
  • Christmas was hard this past year.  But instead of eating 3 or 4 warm cookies right out of the oven…I had a half of a cookie.  I had lost almost 3 pounds by then and I didn’t want to screw up…I knew I was on to something.
  • I kept thinking of that children’s book, “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”  I felt like, “If You Give Tina Half Of A Cookie…she’ll be happy!”  And I was.
  • I still go to Dairy Queen once a week and get a small chocolate sundae.
  • I try to get to White Castle once a week where I order 2 sliders and a small REGULAR Coke…or McDonalds for a Filet-O-Fish sandwich and a small REGULAR Coke.
  • That Coke is the only pop/soda I drink all week.
  • I have never drank diet pop/soda…I tasted it once…
  • I cook with butter.  I cook with whole milk.  I love meat…red, lovely meat.  AND I LOVE GRAVY…as previously mentioned.  I like chicken too…in case you wondered…with barbecue sauce or gravy, of course.
  • I never eat anything labeled “lite” “diet” “fat-free” or my favorite…”tastes awful but it only has 3 calories”…kidding on the last one.
  • I love potatoes in any form.
  • I seldom eat breakfast.  I just have coffee with sugar, no cream
  • But…I almost always have a good lunch.  Sandwiches made with ONE slice of white bread…tuna, chicken, ham, egg salad or peanut butter. I always use Mayo.  I love Mayo…full strength…not lite.  There is always cheese on my lunch plate because I love cheese.  Grapes and strawberries are also there.  And then I add 3 crackers.  My current favorites are Breton Originals…and Better Cheddars.
  • If I do feel like breakfast, I will have a small can of tomato juice or an egg fried in butter.
  • We do not eat out a lot but when we do…I just leave food on my plate if the portion is too large.
  • IMPORTANT!  Do not go to bed hungry!  Every night I read before I go to sleep so I have 3 or 4 crackers and 5 potato chips…and 3 LUDEN’S  cough drops.
  • Odd little observation:  Before I began this bedtime snack ritual, I used to have a little acid reflux.  It was really bothersome.  But now I never have it…go figure.
  • I NEVER deny myself anything because with this plan…I don’t have to.  Except excess…I deny myself excess…that’s fair to say.
  • I eat everything and anything…I just eat less.

So…that’s the “eating” part of my weight-loss process.

I know it is pretty simple but it really worked and obviously is still working since I just lost more weight yesterday!

P.S.  I am never hungry (except before dinner and, really, who isn’t) and I am so very satisfied…

The “Walk A Little Every Day” part  comes tomorrow.