By |

133.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT…I’m on this.

I realize now that I had forgotten to allow for the “X” Factor” when I was doing my  recent “Hershey” candy bar research…you know…the research that almost left me blind???  (What kind of scientist am I for heaven’s sake?) …

(Well, Tina…you are the “I Am Not a Scientist” kind).

I don’t know exactly what the hell the “X” Factor” is…I may have been partially blind at that point during my research…however…

It is possible that I am the “X Factor”…which would make sense since I have now discovered (I WORK SO HARD FOR THIS DAMN BLOG!!) that the definition of “X Factor” is:

“Telling yourself what you want to hear (or finding facts…however outrageous on Google…((I LOVE YOU, GOOGLE))!!!!) so you can feel really good right now…but will later come to realize that perhaps those ‘facts’ were wrong and that you are a completely idiotic person and you better now stop doing whatever you are doing to get yourself to this point (where you do not want to be)…like…

…RIGHT NOW.”*

*This definition might be slightly flawed…or maybe a little incorrect…or possibly skewered a tad…and…’bat-shit crazy’ will also work here.

Have a nice day…

By |

***BULLETIN***

  FULL DISCLOSURE…no real bulletin…

STILL 132.2...

However…I feel that in these wretchedly crap times…I must confess to anybody or everybody…that if I wake up one morning in the future….walk out to my kitchen…pull out the scale and weigh myself …which I do RELIGIOUSLY EVERY DAY…

…and discover that I have cracked the 130.0 mark on my scale…I will do one of two things:

ONE…

I will step off the scale, quietly walk over and open the curtains, pour myself  a cup of coffee, step back on the scale and weigh myself again because I will absolutely not believe that the scale  is telling me the truth…OR

TWO…

Ever so carefully put the scale back in the corner and THEN do a silent although wildly effusive HAPPY DANCE all the way down the hall to my bedroom where I will retrieve and subsequently eat one whole Hershey bar for breakfast.

Gee…I wonder what I will do…

Have a nice day…